'Why am i so different than the other? I'm not smart'
Walking back home after school i had a detour from my original route. A change indeed. Well, i like to explore new places. The neighbourhood behind school is like an unknown in my 'map', a void. Exploring would be kinda fun and exciting for i may not know what may await me. I was shown the houses which i did not know existed there, banglo houses. Well, maybe i knew but i didn't take time to notice. While walking, i saw a dog, looks like a good dog to me, looks like it was trapped outside it's 'house'. Went for a walk perhaps?
That unfamiliar place makes me feel awkward. Felt a little lost and confused. Disoriented. I even had to get directions back to 'charted waters'. At the T-junction, i was unsure of where to go. Should i proceed ahead to a more familiar path or should i turn left to and unknown route. I decided to proceed left. As i walked, i took time to admire the humongous houses around. Walking through an unknown road, i chanced upon a familiar building at a dead-end.
'Oh, that's my kindergarten... it's still here. It still looks the same' The sight of it brings me back to my past. I remember, a time, i was punished for something i didn't do, i didn't defend myself... well, not sure how to anyway. I was standing outside with a friend of mine. I should be feeing sad but i cheered myself up and think positive thoughts. Talked to my friend to and encouraged him. 'Look over there, they are building something. What a nice view, right? So, it's not bad after all standing outside here, right?' Well, at least that's almost of what i said then. Maybe what i am today started from there, i always try to see the positive side of something. Oh, i reminisce the past and find myself trapped in the present that contradicts myself. What will the future be?
As i emerged from the unknown path, i came about the familiar field. So it seems. I was disoriented because i wasn't familiar with 'this' side of the field. 'So, where to next? that way should be to school, right? Hmmm... i guess i'm supposed to go that way?' I stood still while thinking where to go. Then i remembered a time when i was walking to school for CF on Friday when i was Form 2, i decided to take a new route and explore the area around school. I almost got lost. Made my way to the mosque and exited the other end of the field. 'Gosh, would have been faster if i'd take the usual route.'
Made my way out of unfamiliar ground, i walked though a quiet alley which i discovered a day earlier, where i met the unfriendly cat. Walking past the quiet alley, i emerged to the main road leading towards the traffic light. Then, the thought of the same old route makes me feel bored of it. I stopped by seven eleven to get a drink.
'Hmm... what should i buy?? I want 100 plus... but it's 10 cents more expensive than the other bottled drinks. Should i go for vanilla coke? Well, it's cheaper but less 'healthier'. 100 plus is so called more 'healthier' than coke right?? Hmm... well, gotta save money so i'll go for vanilla coke. I pray that i won't get diabetes in the future.'
This contradiction often visit me whenever i stop by the convenient store. Coffee? Milk? Soft drink? Fruit juice? Bottled? Canned? Cheaper one? The little more expensive one? (sigh) Hard to make up my mind. In the end, i spend much unneccesary time choosing what to buy.
I walked though my alternative route, so called the 'scenic route'. As i was walking, my feet stopped as i glanced upon a white hibiscus. 'Oh, a white hibiscus plant. Not so common... hmmm... should i plant it?' My hand reached out to pluck a shoot but stopped when i found it hard to do so. 'Hmm... don't want to hurt you unneccesarily, wait till i get a knife then i'll come back for you.'
I entered the seemingly large playgound. A stop in my journey. I was shocked when i was a red ant's nest up on the tree. The leaves were clumped together and made into a next. How amazing and fascinating but i cautioned myself not to approach it. 'Oh, look a mini flower on the ground. Looks like it's one in the peacock family... or so it seems. It's a weed... i think. But look at it's flower, how cute and lovely' I decided on taking it back to plant. Let's see what i would become.
As i approached my old school, i made another stop at the field outside the school. One of my frequent stops in my journey home, walking from school. I call it 'the place to where surprising treasure awaits'... well, it's because primary school students kinda leave stuff behind.... sometimes drop stuff. Please don't take me wrong. ^.^ Walked up to a table and saw remnants of an electric project done by primary school students.
Actually, it was there yesterday, still intact. There were interesting components that i might salvage. 'Should i take it?? It's still new... i could use some of these... but, the guy who left it here might come back for it' So with that i left it there.
Today, i'm back, still, no one claims it. in fact, i guess the kids were playing with it as all the components were scattered around. Oh well, better salvage what i can salvage before it's all gone. Took some time walking and searching. In the end i managed to salvage a battery holder, some 'bongkah penyambung', a LED and a potentiometer. What a treasure. I even found 2 marbles. That reminded me...
'Hmm... what's this? A marble. Wonder who dropped it. I usually find money but now a marble. Well, at least it seems precious enough.' So i took it. That was a few months ago as i walked back from school. Last month, i found another marble. So i had 2 marbles. Now, i found another 2, which make my collection 4. Hmm... what's with me and marbles? Just felt collecting it all of a sudden.
'It's past two, it's getting late, gotta get back for lunch. What an interesting day today.'
I walk with a cheerful heart, wanting to cherish every moment i had today in my journeys. I feel... free...
